When we esteem and define ourselves through our work, we falter. Whether scrubbing toilets, accelerating particles, designing suspension bridges, or contemplating existence on a mountaintop – the nature of our work is ultimately inconsequential.
Galaxies effervesce, implode, and rejuvenate. Stars ignite and radiate. Planets throb, crack, and blossom. Interpenetrating dimensions yield inconceivable layers of flowing complexity. And amid it all, trillions of life-forms arise to witness and engage in this astonishing celestial symphony. So what is the purpose of it all? Is there a purpose? Does it need a purpose? What if the universe is an experiment in self-guided creation; a creation that creates itself as an evolving work-in-progress, founded on self-incrementing emanations of harmony, form, and equilibrium. If this were a work of art (which it may be), we could reasonably equate this process with what we call ‘beauty’.
Some intelligences are more involved in this endeavor than others. Disharmonious, fragmented, unbalanced life-forms may have their fifteen minutes of fame, but they will eventually fizzle out because they lack the ability to synchronize with the unifying imperative towards beauty. For those who do choose to align with the grand composition – personally contributing to ever-deeper levels of truth and elegance in all things – the universe reveals itself to be an extremely resourceful collaborator, a powerful ally, and a faithful companion.
The universe wants our artistic concurrence to be creative and singular; so it never tells us what to do. It prefers that we determine our own actions. But it will leave clues, arrange for meaningful symbols to appear on our path, and sometimes will speak through the movement of the natural environment. The wind in the trees can be heard to whisper, ‘not what, but how’. Not what you do, but how you do it.
I Done Wrong
The cogitations of one individual human are no more or less important than the sentience of an ocean, or the arc of a comet, or the afternoon dream of a sleeping Himalayan house cat. The quality and character may be different, but can the ideas of a man really be more essential than the blazing light of a sun? Our doings are exercises in conduct and growth. Specifics are irrelevant. It’s all yard work in the end. But that’s a very zoomed out thing. Witnessing humans poison themselves and the planet is exasperating, but not at all beyond the normal scope of experimental disharmonious schooling. At root, our wrongness is merely being out of alignment with the universe. The movement towards righteousness is a movement towards becoming universally aligned. We sometimes call this spirituality. A healthy, rounded attitude is very helpful. Purity of being is more important than accumulation of knowledge.
Whilst many gurus, scholars, researchers, and visionaries claim an absence of egotism, they seem inexplicably happy to laud the crucial significance of their own work. They consider the ‘what’ more important than the ‘how’. When someone openly regards their own systems of thought as monumentally important, they are divulging a deep crack in their own core. An inner struggle is being played out publicly. Still they insist that they are altruistically devoted to just getting the information out, serving as a conduit for sacred knowledge, helping the global awakening, serving the planetary spirit. Or some shit like that. After a decade of witnessing this up close and personal, I have found such pronouncements to be overwhelmingly untrue. The labor of the vast majority of underground personalities is entirely about themselves.
When self-esteem is lacking, recognition is sought from the outside. When self-worth is lacking, the heavy burden of martyrdom is declared. Both strategies are a response to unresolved inner turmoil. This is why we have dreamers on one side, and stoics on the other. Either way, the metaphysical material they tender is infected with a litany of personal issues, and is therefore heavily compromised. Nothing can be relied upon. Passions are merely personal ravings. Expositions and arguments are little more than emotional tantrums.
One definition of dogmatism is “unfounded positiveness in matters of opinion; arrogant assertion of opinions as truths.” As you will have noticed, this is rife in alternative circles. Whether dealing with matters of consciousness, spirituality, psychology, politics, conspiracy, paranormal, or whatever, the level of absurd recycled conjecture put forth as solid truth is dreadful. And those who are easily-led continue to gossip and wank over this stuff night after night in horrible brain-dead forums. In face-to-face discourse, we instinctively know when people are talking nonsense, and these things can be waved away with a smile or a shake of the head. But what are we to do when the dogma is not so clearly identifiable because it is being purposefully camouflaged in obscure, esoteric subject matters?
Have the courage to discriminate. Learn to know when you are hearing dogma. Know when you are hearing the shriek of the ego. Know when there is a humor deficiency.
Shut Up And Get On With It
I embarked upon my philosophical journey for no other reason than the sheer personal fulfillment of it. No goals, no career, no prestige. I couldn’t care less what anyone else thought. I still don’t. I deliberately steered clear of marriage, children, and system indebtedness, so I could go about my mental vagrancy without causing too much trouble. I chose this path myself, of my own accord. The aliens didn’t ask me to do anything. There were no appearances by nine foot turquoise beings. No mandates from God, Jesus, Mohamed, Buddha, the saints, pilgrims, masters, or watchers. I have never once set eyes upon the sacred emerald avocado, cloistered in a hidden grove and suspended in the teardrops of unicorns. No. It’s just me exploring the world.
Professionally, I am easy to please. I don’t need anything otherworldly to float my boat. My biggest satisfaction in the last year was when a man with whom I had worked told me that he is now speaking with his daughter for the first time in 30 years. They are slowly getting to know each other, hanging out, and beginning to genuinely respect, befriend, and love each other. No galactic revelations or higher dimensional interlopers necessary. Not today. Just humans trying to be better. To act as sincerely as possible. To be where we are. To help when asked. To claim our sovereignty. To speak the truth.
My ego is rarely at the helm, privately or publicly. In fact, I have a hard job persuading it to step out of its natural role at all nowadays – which is a good thing. I find it useful to envisage my ego as a tactical officer (a bit like Tuvok in Voyager). His duties and talents are focused on looking after the overall security of the system. And he does that very well; mobile, alert, strong, composed. However, tactical officers do not do well if they find themselves thrust into the role of captain. If that happens too often, life becomes one enormous miserable competition; always vying for advantage, dominance, safety, and esteem. This is an exhausting and artificial way of living.
By virtue of where and when I was born, I developed a natural resistance to egotism. In 1970’s Manchester, England, there was a very unsentimental working class resonance that deterred the individual from ever disappearing too far up their own rabbit hole. Just do what you’re doing, shut up, and get on with it. If you toot your own horn too loudly, someone will rightfully jam it down your throat. So be cool. Secondly, I had a very healthy relationship with nature from childhood onwards. Years of watching falcons, hawks, buzzards, otters, and foxes hunting on their home turf, automatically lowers one’s sense of self importance and personal projection. If you are too heavy in your selfness, animals can feel it and they hide from you. Whereas, if you are light of self, they will let you be among them. As the Native Americans say, tread lightly. And last but not least, is the miracle of humor. If you aren’t laughing, you’re doing it wrong. Period. All my close friends, family, and honored colleagues, laugh all the time. We laugh at ourselves, each other, our work, and our world. When humor is a constant companion, any traces of pomposity are instantly eliminated.
Alan Watts (1915-1973) used to laugh a lot. Humor was part of his philosophy. He knew his attainments, his limitations, his excellence, and his vices. And he found the contrast amusing. As it is in all of us. So his profound wisdom was very naturally grounded in self observation and transformation. He understood that if self is too heavy, it impedes growth. Only when self is light and fluid can we truly mature. Everything else is a simulation.
Watts reminds me to be wary of self-proclaimed wise men who do not laugh. Next time you listen to popular figures in alternative circles, pay careful attention to how often they express both humor and humility. How often do they laugh, smile, share, open? Can you feel their warmth? Don’t confuse forthrightness with authenticity. Put their knowledge to one side for a moment, and consider how good are they at ‘being’? How proficient are they at being a full spectrum human with all the artistry, balance, and lovingness that is so essential for a true and healthy outlook? If these things are missing, we are not dealing with centered beings. We are dealing with men who regard solemnity as the only proper accompaniment to the imagined gravity of their work. The more serious someone is about their stuff, the more I question their sincerity.
Enjoy The Gloom
Personal subjective mindscapes are fine for the individual, but hugely irrelevant to everyone else. We all have different ways of perceiving and interacting with the world. There is no one true path. No single overarching mythos, practice, or method. All we have are observations. We have to go our own way. Strive to see things in their naked actuality. Never apply a narrative to what needs no narrative. Avoid continual references to Goddesses, Gods, demons, angels, evil, sorcery, aliens, creation stories, prophecies, cataclysms, sinister psychology, and needlessly obscure jargon.
When I detect a consistent thread of dogmatism in someone’s words and thinking, I know that something is wrong. If I perceive that they also secretly enjoy the gloom, fall out with people a lot, insist on things being a certain way, and are elevating their special knowledge above all others, then I am calling it emotional immaturity. When a person becomes unduly attached to their own theories concerning ‘how things are’, then their perceptions are already skewed. You can spot these folks a mile off, because they always feel an irresistible urge to prove, bolster, defend, attack, and contend. And like the very control system they are railing against, they only become more pompous in their ideological convictions as the whole thing crumbles around their heads.
The doctrinaire man* has had his day. The cults, gurus, expos, and temples are going out of business. Whilst they worked well from the 1960’s all the way through to the 1990’s, their credibility seriously declined in the 2000’s as people started to question the dogma. They were tired of it. The same principle of a redundant and fraudulent priest class – previously rejected in mainstream Abrahamic religions – was now being acknowledged and thrown out in the new age paradigm. Today, only those who are lonely, naive, ill, or desperate continue to buy into it. For everyone else, they have rightfully concluded that the premise of a special transmission of enlightenment through enigmatically ordained individuals, is a casino-style con.
For men engaged chiefly in intellectual pursuits, the impulse to define themselves through their work is a pretty common trait. It is, nevertheless, always a grave and unnecessary error. If their studious ruminations also have an esoteric or mystical element, the delusional man can get away with bloody murder in repackaging theatrical twaddle as sound knowledge. Beware those who confidently suppose that they are on some higher mission, have been singled out for vital work, and possess an exclusive understanding of the road to salvation. This serves only to induce even greater imagined merit in the mind of the perpetrator. For this reason, they are compelled to maintain and defend their theorizing – not for the fidelity of the work itself – but for their own mental health.
When you sniff dogma in a person, immediately examine the health and poise of their ‘beingness’ – that is, their human ability to simply be, without affectation or projection. How good are they at being a genuine well rounded individual? Forget crusading scholars and cryptic sages. I mean the animal: mind, heart, and will, acting in unison in the flesh. If they cannot really be, they cannot really know. In such circumstances (as with the aforementioned Vulcan), the stunning technology of humor is regrettably supplanted by the self-defeating conventions of dogma. Only a humble man can laugh from his depths. The lightheartedness of existence is one of the great mysteries.
* Whilst there are both male and female new age zealots out there, most of the dogma comes from men; hence the choice of gender in this essay.
This essay is not about any specific individual. It is about a general egoic aberration that obscures truth by fragmenting being. I’m calling it like I see it.